August 14, 2009

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  The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.  (Harold George Nicolson)

  This is a letter I sent to a friend after several discussions about feelings and emotions.

  Last night I went to an open folk mic night at a nearby Arts Center in Framingham.  I have realized for a long time that the folk music of today is far different than the folk music was back in the 60’s.  Then, it seemed that folk music was music of the common folk.  They sang songs that people knew, or could learn or that they wanted to learn.  When I moved to the Boston area, I was excited that I would be able to go to Club Passim in Cambridge (at Harvard) which was one of the biggest promoters of folk music during that era. 

   

  But I was very disappointed when I went.  Now, all of their acts were by singer-songwriters – not folk musicians.  They had their own style of folk music and they would only play and sing what they wrote.  So you would go and not hear one song that you knew, and you would never hear those songs again unless you became a groupie of that performer. 

   

  Another difference was that back then, the words were most important and the music was secondary.  Now, the music is most important and the words are secondary.  Actually, I think in a lot of cases, the words are tertiary or even lower in the scale of importance. 

   

  So I was expecting the same last night but was curious – as I am about most things in life.  While there, I had an interesting thought.  While the music of the 60’s and 70’s was centered around feelings and emotions, the music of today is much more centered around attitudes.  I was thinking how that perhaps every two generations, there is a different domain that creates a barrier causing intergenerational disfavor or confounding.  Our parents hated the music of the 60’s and 70’s because they couldn’t understand it.  Perhaps it was because when they were growing up, their music wasn’t about feelings and emotions.  Perhaps it was all about mood.  (Remember the song “In the Mood”?)  So their entire lexicon of music was based on moods.  So when emotions and feelings became the domain, they didn’t understand it.  (Remember the song “Feelings” that was popular?)  And just as we were raised on music (and appreciated it) based on feelings, so it is difficult for us to appreciate music based on attitude.  Look at rap music.  It’s all about attitude. 

   

  So much of today’s music is about “in your face attitude”, or “positive attitude”, or “you’re not going to detract from my attitude”.  It really helps me to understand the differences a little better.  (I won’t say it helps me to appreciate the attitude music better.)  Even the folk music last night.  That which was performed by the younger people was mostly attitude songs whereas the older people performed songs based on feelings.

   

  And that got me to thinking about our previous discussion of a lexicon of emotions and feelings.  Just as there is an entire listing of feelings falling into one of seven categories, there should be a similar listing for attitudes.  But I have to admit I am dumb (in the original sense of the word) when it comes to coming up with such a list.  My list is paltry at best and to form any kind or organized taxonomy would be painful.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a list.

   

  And of course, I’m using music as an extended metaphor here.  I think that there is a larger shift going on in more than music.  I think the same could be said of the dating scene.  Romance is no longer sought.  When I look at the profiles on the on-line dating networks, I see many more references to attitudes than I do to feelings.  Which is probably why I have been such a dismal failure on them.  I can see the same change in poetry.  Now, the big thing is slam poetry – especially among the young.  And that’s all attitude.  While the 60’s was the “Love” generation, the current generation is the Sustainability generation – which is an attitude of how we as individuals and corporations should approach the environment as well as our social responsibilities.  The right approach requires the right attitude.  The Liberal Arts major of the 60’s, which fostered a “love” for learning, has turned into a business quest with the right approach and attitude. 

   

  As I’m thinking about this, I think there might also be something in the react/reflect approaches I’ve mentioned before.  While most people in our society today (regardless of generation) prefer to react, I seem to be different and prefer to reflect.  Which is why I would rather correspond by e-mail than by IM, why I would rather talk one-on-one than interact within a group, and why I would rather read than watch TV.  Perhaps it’s easier to react to attitude than it is to feelings.  Feelings require reflections to be communicated or even to be appreciated in another.  Attitudes don’t. 

   

  But if there is truth that our society is making such a paradigm shift from one where the predominate domain is feelings, to one where it is predominately attitude, it would be a good idea to investigate and to develop enough of a working knowledge to discuss it.  Undiscussed societal paradigm shifts are to be feared.

   

  What do you think?

   

  • 12:46 pm
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